Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Anonymous Sources Have Taken Every Parking Space Used By Washington Post For Secret Meetings



Onion: ‘Washington Post’ Reporter Frustrated Every Space In Parking Garage Taken Up By Anonymous Source

WASHINGTON—Circling every level multiple times with no luck whatsoever, Washington Post reporter Philip Rucker was frustrated Tuesday that every space in the parking garage was taken up by an anonymous source.

“I’ve gone around and around, but I can’t find a single spot that isn’t already filled by an unidentified White House leaker,” said an exasperated Rucker, who recalled how easy it was to nab a prime parking place to clandestinely receive privileged information only a few short years ago.

“It’s such a nightmare driving all the way to the very top of the whole fucking structure to hold a secret meeting with an informant and then have to squeeze into a spot reserved for compact cars that another journalist who’s meeting with a whistle-blower is halfway parked in anyway.

Seriously, I have to start scheduling these rendezvous earlier, because as soon as dusk settles in, you can forget it.”

At press time, Rucker was idling his car near the space occupied by a New York Times reporter who had just received a thumb drive and appeared to be wrapping things up.

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WNU Editor: Fact or fiction?
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5 comments:

  1. RussInSoCalMay 31, 2017 at 5:34 PM

    Er, The Onion is a satire site.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jay FarquharsonMay 31, 2017 at 5:54 PM

      Hair Furour ensures that The Onion, is no longer a satire site,

      an oldy but goody about Bush II's election,

      http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464

      Written Jan.17, 2001.

      Unfortunately, many American's won't get the sly Watergate reference, or that one of the reason's Obama got a lot of "bad" attitude from the Press, was the Obama White House didn't leak, so instead, they had to write gossipy stories about what Michelle was wearing.



      Delete
  2. AnonymousMay 31, 2017 at 5:47 PM

    Yup...every D.C. commuter knows it for free copies at Metro.

    However...If right wing then false! If left wing...true? If missing wings...there is room for debate. If Koch wings...conspiracy! If Trump wing...fake news! If Russian Embassy...shocked at the thought. If MSNBC...repeat report 3 times and then say it again. If CNN...have panel of 12 parking lot experts debate the merits. If Fox...have heavily made of blonde deliver it with shocking graphis and Chiron.

    ReplyDelete
  3. War News Updates EditorMay 31, 2017 at 5:49 PM

    RussInSocal
    I know Onion is a satire website.
    I just could not resist.
    :)

    Anon.
    LOL. That's a good one.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jay FarquharsonMay 31, 2017 at 6:07 PM

    BTW, WNU Editor,

    Cheeto Benito's so called "adults", McMaster and Cohn have an op-ed in the WSJ today:

    http://digbysblog.blogspot.ca/2017/05/trumps-isolationist-manifesto-all.html?m=1

    ReplyDelete